So...
I am back and pondering on what to write next in this journey and we start with the one thing I never imagined that I could live without. The boys and I have been on our own since January (YAY). When I say on our own, I mean no helper. Our trusted and ever-reliable Manang retired back in December. Honestly, it was one of the most terrifying thoughts to ever cross my mind and I asked myself, "Can I survive without her?!?" Five months into it, the answer is YES (Hooray for me for not going cray cray yet). I look back and reflect, on what we did right to get to this point (of course notwithstanding all the moments that I did not want to move, or I simply told the hubby to wear what was in the closet because I was too lazy to iron clothes). Let me share my top 5 tips on surviving not having household help for the very busy working mom.
I have been away for some time since I relinquished my Macbook Air to my eldest son. That meant I do not have a personal device to work with and update my blog with (seriously, this is a lame excuse I know). But I have always kept my personal and professional devices separate. My work laptop (company issued) will never contain and be used for my personal exploits on the worldwide web. So here I am, renewed and back since I purchased a new device for myself.
1. DELEGATE
The boys all have their roles and responsibilities. The higher the birth order, the greater the responsibility and of course we match it with the age of the kids. We try to maintain some level of quity and justice for the older kids so that they don't feel "lugi" and having the greater burden of helping their parents.
2. SIMPLIFY
When Manang went on a break for Christmas, I started decluttering and removing things that we no longer needed. I disposed of a lot of things and gave away a lot of junk. Then I started to sort the things that we decided to think about before keeping. I ended up giving away a lot of things that no longer served us on a regular basis. This way we had less items to clean and maintain.
3. ASK HELP
Admitting that I cannot do everything on my own is key, accepting it is another. We got the services of a cleaning person to take on the outside of our home. We have a large lot area and have an extension area where we keep our other stuff like our golf clubs, rackets, and other sports equipment. I can no longer clean this together will all the household chores. Luckily, we got a cleaning person to come every M-W-F to clean and maintain our garden, garage and outside area. One or two less things to think about.
4. BE KIND
Being a sort of "control freak" I often times forget that my boys are children and they have their own worries and troubles not to mention the million things they need to complete for school. I remind myself that my children have their own worries to think about and I should not be their source of stress any more. It took time for me to consciously practice this and it has been a humbling experience.
5. LET GO
This is the hardest lesson I had to learn...letting go. I used to lose sleep over uncleaned floors, unwashed curtains and undusted surfaces. But I told myself I needed to be a happy wife and mom, well rested, contented and healthy for my boys. All the things I used to think were important are no longer of consequence and I learned to simply let go. What I cannot do today (in the chores sense of the word) I do tomorrow. This is the hardest lesson I had to learn. It took majority of the past 5 months to learn this, and now I can say I am less stressed, I sleep better and I feel better.
I never could imagine surviving without a helper, not in my 17 years of being married and 15 years of being a mother but here I am, together with our boys...surviving and thriving. If I can do it, certainly more of us out there with the numerous Yaya issues can definitely survive on their own with determination, patience, and a lot of prayers, you can survive without a household helper like me.
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